I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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