honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
