We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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