My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
