It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
there was a trapeze. enough said
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
