Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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