I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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