I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize