im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
don't judge my taste in strippers
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize