i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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