I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
