so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
