i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
