i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
