Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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