Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Pooping to opera.
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