I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
