I just threw up on my dentist
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
