yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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