Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
