I wish I only lived at night.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
