I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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