I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
