Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
