I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I look better un-naked...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We had sex on a dog bed..
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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