Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
