I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
nutella sex= disaster
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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