Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
