I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize