Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
