Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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