she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
