i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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