So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
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He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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