did you get engaged???
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
