You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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