: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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