Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
two words: eviction party
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
