I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize