5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
