I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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