you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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