i need an iv and a liver transplant
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
