I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
