dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
