Umm I'm too high to move.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵