Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.

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(540): View more from Virginia

my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged

(703): View more from Virginia

just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit

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(512): View more from Texas

He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.

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(347): View more from New York

He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(716): View more from New York

Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?

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(208): View more from Idaho

My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed

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(203): View more from Connecticut

We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese

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(415): View more from California

we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"

(707): View more from California

communist

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(574): View more from Indiana

I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.

(1-574): View more from Indiana

How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!

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