i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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