Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!