im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
