pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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