Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
