There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just invented taco cereal.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
