i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
