I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
