i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
