is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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