So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize