Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
