we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
