jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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