This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
