I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
