I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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