how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
