did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
