I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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